Family: How do you define it?

Family is one that everyone can identify with in some way.  No matter what the life experience, everyone has a person or group of people they call family.  These are the people we turn to for love, support, and help; this is not limited to the people we are blood related to.  In Latino culture, we have seen how large of a role family plays in the characters’ lives.  Throughout the novels Bless Me, Ultima, Bodega Dreams¸ and Dreaming in Cuban, we see the main characters identify with their family; however, the people they call family are not always those that are their biological family.  The definition of family changes as the stories and characters develop.  The novels Bless Me, Ultima, Bodega Dreams, and Dreaming in Cuban demonstrate different aspects of family and how family can have more than one definition.   

           

Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo Anaya is a novel about a Mexican-American family.  The family has lived in Guadalupe, New Mexico for most of Antonio’s life.  However, the family welcomes one more person into their home that is not a part of their family.  Her name is Ultima.  She is a midwife and caregiver.  The family has a strong connection with her because of the help she has given to the family.  She birthed María Márez’s children and has helped the family in other ways as well.  For these reasons, she is considered a part of the family and so, the Márez allows her to live with them.  María said, “She Tended me at the birth of my sons–…Gabriel, we cannot let her live her last days in loneliness–” (Anaya, 4).  María is displaying her sense of family connection to Ultima through all she has done for their family.  In response, Gabriel says, “No… it is not the way of our people” (Anaya, 4).  He is referring to the cultural notion that they should ask Ultima to live with their family because it is not the way of their people to live alone when getting older.  Both María and Gabriel feel a connection to Ultima; they demonstrate their connection and gratefulness for her kindness by welcoming her into their home as a part of their family, even though she is not technically family. 

            

Debra Black from Arizona State University wrote in the “Bilingual Review” about family in Bless Me, Ultima.  Black discusses how the family in Bless Me, Ultima is a model to the reader of what a Latino family can be (148).  At the beginning of the story, Antonio talks about the people in his family and includes Ultima (Black 148).  Then, as mentioned in the paragraph before, we see why she was included in their family.  This family picture is common in the Latino culture: Debra Black quotes, “In Chicano culture, ‘the emphasis on familism is such that it includes not only the immediate family and extended relatives but fictive relations’ (Mirande 107)” (148).  Black refers to another article stating that this relationship and welcoming someone into their home is very much a part of the Latino culture.  Throughout the novel, we see Ultima as a part of the family.  She heals their relatives, she works around the house, and she looks after the family, especially Antonio.  We see how the family has accepted her when Ultima is being attacked by Tenorio.  He is accusing her of being a witch and Narciso sticks up for Ultima.  He tells them the accusation of being a witch is a serious one; so, “to discover the truth of the charge there is a very simple test” (Anaya 139).  He goes on to describe a way they can test their theory as to protect her, knowing it will show them she is not a witch.  This demonstrates how Ultima has been accepted as family and so they are willing to stick up for her even when accused of being a witch.

            

Bodega Dreams by Ernesto Quiñonez also displays another family that is defined differently than blood relatives.  In the novel, the characters are further developed and they describe themselves as family even though they are not related.  They call this their “pana” which to them means when you have each other’s back and take care of each other; you are family.   Sapo and Chino, two main characters, have had this type of relationship for most of their lives.  Chino describes his friendship with Sapo as beginning in grade school, especially when he was trying to make a name for himself, which was done by getting in fights.  Chino says, “…he was my pana, my friend.  This gave me hope, and getting a name seemed possible” (Quiñonez 4).   He views Chino as someone he can rely on, someone that will take care of him.  The novel describes their relationships throughout the novel and we see how their relationship is seemingly more like family than simply friends.  Chino repeatedly does things for Sapo that he does not necessarily approve of, such as storing drugs for him.  In return, Sapo gives Chino the opportunity to work for Bodega which will help him provide for his wife and baby.  We see their relationship resemble a family more than a friendship by the way they support and help each other.

            

This same type of relationship is what motivates Willie Bodega.  When his character is developed, we see that he does most of what he does because of the loyalty that it brings from those he helps.  For example, Bodega is describing his business and in the end, he claims it helps everyone.  Bodega says, “…what it means is fourteen families that would riot for Bodega.  Fourteen families that would take a bullet for Bodega…  I take care of the community and the community will take care of me” (Quiñonez 29-30).  Bodega relies on this family type of relationship for his everyday business.  He believes that if he takes care of the people in the community, they will have his back and take care of him in return.  The entire community, Bodega dreams, will be a part of this relationship and they can then take care of each other. 

           

In the novel Dreaming in Cuban by Cristina Garcia, we see family defined yet again; but this time, family is defined within the parameters of blood relatives.  As the characters are developed, we see strong family bonds between women that extend through generations and even across an ocean.  Pilar discusses how she never made it to Cuba to visit her grandmother, Celia.  She feels as though this is a journey she must take so that she may know her grandmother; she feels as though this journey will make her destiny her own.  So, after many nights thinking about how she was unable to make the trip, Pilar says, “I call my mother and tell her we’re going to Cuba” (Garcia 203).  This quote has several meanings.  First, Pilar is displaying the strong family bond she feels to go and see her grandmother.  Second, she does not want to make the journey alone so she tells her mother they will make the journey together.  This shows the strong family ties and how family is defined through Pilar’s eyes.  The relationship between the women is strong and that seems to be the people they turn to and see as their family. 

           

In the novels Bless Me, Ultima, Bodega Dreams, and Dreaming in Cuban, we can see the different aspects of family and the different definitions family can have.  The novels each include their own idea of family.  We can see the importance of family in the Latino culture but more specifically, we can see how that broad statement is more clearly defined by specific cultures through the novels. 

Works Cited

Anaya, Rudolfo. Bless Me, Ultima. Berkeley : Warner Books, 1999. Book.

Black, Debra B. "Times Of Conflict: Bless Me, Ultima As A Novel Of Acculturation.”  Bilingual Review 25.2 (2000): 146.  Academic Search Premier.  Web.  14 Apr. 2012.

Garcia, Cristina. Dreaming in Cuban. New York: Ballantine Books, 1992. Book.

Quiñonez, Ernesto. Bodega Dreams. New York: Vintage Books, 2000. Book.

Machismo

Throughout Latino culture, we can see machismo.  In the novel The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, we see aspects of machismo as well, especially through the main character of Oscar.  In the novel, Oscar embraces this machismo.  He is pushed onto girls at parties and dances with them.  Then, he ends up having two girlfriends.  The machismo is very common and prevalent in Latino cultures.  I saw this when I lived in the Dominican Republic.  To me, it felt like men were more forward.  It was like they expected that I would want to dance with them, want to go out with them, or even want to marry them.

This makes me wonder how the women feel about this machismo.  It made me feel uncomfortable.  I did not want to marry someone.  I didn't want to dance, especially the way they were, and I did not want to go out with someone I barely knew.  Now, is this simply how I feel because it is much different than my culture?  There are some forward men but it has never made me as uncomfortable as it did when I was there.  Do women enjoy being expected to comply with a man's request?  Or are they reluctant but feel as though they need to comply because it is so "normal?"

One other aspect of machismo that is found in the novel is the rejection.  Oscar has an expectation that the girls want to be with him.  However, he then decides to choose one and then she rejects him.  He is surprised and hurt by the rejection, as would most people.  However, part of me wonders if he is hurt by the rejection because of the expectation she should want to be with him.  It seems that with the machismo comes the expectation that the men can be forward because the women will accept.  So what happens when the man is rejected?  Is this a sign of machismo changing, that women are becoming more comfortable with making the choice themselves?  Or, are they enjoying the power of challenging the machismo of the man that is forward with them?